 |
| He looks like he’s wearing a shark mask. Also, this and the blue dragon pic are the most physiologically accurate dragons thus far. |
Damn, that’s cold. The other entries were quick to write off the other colored dragons as mean, puppy-kicking fucks, but this one flat-out calls them dumb. The black dragon’s page looks flattering by comparison, for frost sake.
They are impulsive, vicious, and animalistic, tending to consider only the needs and emotions of the moment and having no foresight or regret.
So, these guys are actual sociopaths. No, seriously, that fits the definition perfectly. Add a lack of empathy, and it’s right out of a textbook.
Despite their low intelligence, they are as greedy and evil as the other evil dragons.
They really want to ram home the fact that white dragons are so fucking dumb, they get fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the W’s.
The scales of a hatchling white dragon are a mirror-like glistening ground.
They’re shiny, though! At least, as hatchies.
As the dragons ages, the sheen disappears, and by the time it reaches the very old stage, scales of pale blue and light gray are mixed in with the white.
How many shades? Better not be six-eights-and-two-ones!
Also, the racial tongue thing crops up again.
Combat: Regardless of a target's size, a white dragon's favorite method of attack is to use its breath weapon and special abilities before closing to melee.
They like their meals cold, I see. I can respect that.
This tactic sometimes works to the dragon's detriment, as it can exhaust its breath weapon on smaller prey and then be faces with a larger creature it must attack physically.
Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nothing like real dragons, who never get ourselves into trouble without thinking.
If a white dragon is pursuing creatures in the water, such as polar bears or seal, it will melee them in their element, fighting with its claws and bite.
In the interest of fighting off the “Internet Grammatical Corrector’s Curse”, I will word my correction in the least grammatical way possible. Ahem.
LMAO, ur grammers so rong, u sed seal as plural insted of seals, get dunked on!!!!!
S’cuse me while I blow chunks.
Anyway, after a bit about their breath weapons and such, we get this:
From their birth, white dragons are immune to cold. As they grow older, they gain the following additional abilities: Juvenile: ice walking, which allows the dragon to walk across ice as easily as easily as creatures walk across flat, dry ground.
Ice Man's stage would’ve been SO much more bearable if you’d been playing as one of these guys.
Mature adult: gust of wind three times a day. Very old: wall of fog three times a day, this produces snow or hail rather than rain.
So far, these abilities have been “make the weather extra British”.
Wait, British weather, white dragons…
HMMMMM.
I’ve got a hypothesis, but maybe I’m just full of sleet.
Wyrm: freezing fog three times a day. This obscures vision in a 100' radius and causes frost to form, creating a thin layer of glare ice on the ground and on all surfaces within the radius.
It’s pretty much all the sucky parts of Winter without anything fun like snow. So far, these guys are about as much fun as a blanket doused in cat piss.
Habit/Society: White dragons live in chilly or cold regions, preferring lands where the temperature rarely rises above freezing and ice and snow always cover the ground.
So, they’re Canadians.
When temperatures become too warm, the dragons become lethargic.
I mean, that’s damn near any dragon in the Summer. We’re so fat and hairy, we practically rain sweat in the heat.
White dragons bask in the frigid winds that whip over the landscape, and they wallow and play in deep snow banks.
Eeeeee! Forget every nasty thing I just said, that mental image alone makes them fucking adorable. Instantly redeemed.
White dragons are lackadaisical parents. Although the young remain with the parents from hatchling to juvenile or young adult stage they are not protected.
So, pretty much the kind of parents whose kids grow up to take videos of themselves playing in traffic for money. Lovely.
Once a dragon passes from it hatchling stage, it must fend for itself, learning how to hunt and defend itself, learning how to hunt and defend itself by watching the parents.
I think the writer needs a proofreader, needs to learn how to hire a proofreader, learn to hire a proofreader.
White dragons' lairs are usually icy caves and deep subterranean chambers; they select caves that open away from the warming rays of the sun.
Wherein they spend all day binging the new Conan the Barbarian webseries.
White dragons store all of their treasure within their lair,
As opposed to their safe deposit box.
and prefer keeping it in caverns coated in ice, which reflect the gems, especially diamonds, because they are pretty to look at.
They just like everything cold, don’t they? I wonder if they don’t engage in ice play when they fuck.
Ecology: Although white dragons, as all other dragons, are able to eat nearly anything, they are very particular and will consume only food which has been frozen.
Ice this, ice that. All I’m saying is, sub-zero temperatures are snow substitute for a personality.
Usually after a dragon has killed a creature with its breath weapon it will fall to devouring it while the carcass is still stiff and frigid.
Make your death erection jokes now, kiddos (yes, those are real, look it up).
It will bury other kills in snow banks until they are suitably frozen.
This is starting to read like the work of a hypothermic snuff fetishist.
White dragons' natural enemies are frost giants who kill the dragons for food and armor and subdue them for guards and mounts.
Well, I can’t blame ‘em for wanting a dragon between their le-
Yipz is threatening to beat me to death with a paper napkin if I finish that sentence. I doubt he could pull it off, but that’s too dumb a way to die for me to risk it.
Anyway, sorry guice, but this really didn’t give me much to work with.
So, what did we learn from this? Well, we learned ice, and some ice, but most importantly, ice.
Until next ice, ice!
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