8 Outrageous Things Cracked Would Say if it Were a Person

“Wanna hear a joke? Everyone hates you because of 5 little things you do every day.”

“The all-lesbian Back to the Future remake isn’t even out yet, and people are already whining that it looks bad. They’re only saying that because it deals with serious social justice issues, and anyone who criticizes the trailer is a whiny incel Nazi baby.”

“Oprah Winfrey fucks pigs. This is fact.”

“The all-lesbian Back to the Future remake is a shallow film full of empty pandering to social justice without actually grasping the principles behind the things it claims to support.”

“Thomas Edison’s first lightbulb was powered by kicked puppies.”

“The Little Mermaid is bourgeois propaganda made to appease the working class.”

“In the future, we’ll have mind-reading implants, and find even more reasons to hate each other.”

“Wanna hear 7 totally disgusting things people in the 1700s did with miscarried babies?”

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