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| The top of this guy’s head looks like either a roast chicken, or a pair of asscheeks. |
I could take this opportunity to make a joke about this next batch of dragons being “METAL AS FUUUUUUCK”, but given what I know going in, we’ve already left the only dragons who’d fit that description behind.
Brass dragons are great talkers, but not particularly good conversationalists.
As an autistic person, I identify way too goddamned much with that statement.
They are egotistical and often boorish.
So... Just a normal dragon, got it.
They often have useful information, but will divulge it only after drifting off the subject many times and after hints that a gift would be appreciated.
I swear, damn near every conversation I get into with certain people can and will divert into Sonic the Hedgehog, so I can relate.
At birth, a brass dragon's scales are dull. Their color is a brassy, mottled brown. As the dragon gets older, the scales become more brassy, until they reach a warm burnished appearance.Also, you starting to see a pattern, here? Either scales are super shiny/translucent and grow dull/opaque, or vice versa. At this point, I don’t really have much else to say on these.
Combat: Brass dragons would rather talk than fight.
Gee, what a surprise.
If an intelligent creature tries to take its leave of a brass dragon without talking to it at length, the dragon might have a fit of pique and try to force a conversation with suggestion or by giving the a dose of sleep gas.
Wait, what?
If the victim falls asleep it will awaken to find itself pinned under the dragon or buried to the neck in the sand until the dragon's thirst for small talk is slaked.
HOLY SHIT.
So, not only do they not respect your personal boundaries, they will literally either brainfuck you or chloroform and kidnap you to make you listen to them.
And their alignment is supposed to be Chaotic Good?!
So, apparently dragons that want to be left the hell alone (i.e. half the Chromatics) are Evil or Neutral, but the guys who kidnap you for their own amusement are the good guys?
D&D logic, everyone!
Granted, there IS a “neutral” in parenthesis next to the “good”, but it’s hard to tell just what actions are being applied to that, here.
Before melee, brass dragons create a cloud of dust with dust devil or control winds, then charge or snatch.
Oh, sweet! Something living in the desert that actually makes use of its environment.
Brass dragons often use control temperature to create heat to discomfort their opponents.
“You think you can just break into my house, huh? Bad news, bitch, I control the THERMOSTAT!” *turns the knob up to a slightly uncomfortable temperature*
When faced with real danger, younger brass dragons will fly out of sight, then hide by burrowing.
Ahh, the Joestar Family Secret Technique. Works every time.
Older dragons spurn this ploy.
“Kids these days are such PUSSIES, I tell ya!”
Breath weapon abilities: A brass dragon has two breath weapons: a cone of sleep gas 70' long, 5' wide at the dragon's mouth, and 20' wide at its end; or a cloud of blistering desert heat 50' long, 40' wide, and 20' high.
So, either chloroform breath or heat rays. Neato.
Skipping over some boring stats, here, we get the revelation that At birth, brass dragons can speak with animals freely, and are immune to fire and heat.
Good lord, so not even the local wildlife are safe from this guy’s endless jabbering. It’s like Doctor Doolittle crossed with the lady from Misery.
As they age, they gain the following additional powers:
Young: create or destroy water three times a day.
I can picture one of these guys drying up someone’s canteen and coercing them to listen to him talk about how SatAM is the best Sonic continuity and everything else pales in comparison.
Everything else up until Great Wyrm is shit we’ve already mentioned in this entry.
Great wyrm: Summon djinni once a week. The dragon usually asks the djinni to preform some service.
Yeah, elderly Brass dragons somehow gain their own personal manservant for the rest of their lives. I’ll take it over Social Security!
Although the djinni serves willingly, the dragon will order it into combat only in extreme circumstances, as the dragon would be dismayed and embarrassed if the djinni were killed.
When you say “willingly”, does that mean it has an option to refuse? Do djinni just have a sudden compulsion to go serve an elderly Brass? Is that their fetish?
Not like I can blame them for wanting to serve a big, handsome dragon daddy, but still.
I also love the fact that they describe the djinni’s potential death in terms of embarrassment and inconvenience, like your prized pumpkin patch getting infested with worms.
Habit/Society: Brass dragons are found in arid, warm climates; ranging from sandy deserts to dry steppes. They love intense, dry heat and spend most of their time basking in the sun.
You might notice that a lot of dragons in this are described as lazy loafs who lie around most of the time like cats.
That’s because it’s 100% true. The difference with us is, we don’t attack you when you rub our bellies.
They lair in high caves, preferably facing east where the sun can warm the rocks, and their territories always contain several spots where they can bask and trap unwary travelers into conversation.
Pff, damn. These guys really are just kidnapping blabbermouths and little else. I’d be surprised if DMs didn’t have at least one plotline involving rescuing someone from one of these guys before the poor fool gets talked to death.
Brass dragons are very social.
Holding people against their will for giggles does not count as “social”, or else I’d be a real social butterfly.
They usually are on good terms with neighboring brass dragons and sphinxes.
Of course they’re friends with sphinxes.
Brass dragons are dedicated parents. If their young are attacked they will try to slay the enemy, using their heat breath weapons and taking full advantage of their own immunity.
Oh! Well, that’s something. Though, given what kind of people they are, I doubt they’re raising those kids right.
Because they share the same habitat, blue dragons are brass dragons' worst enemies.
Ahh, yes, this again. You know, maybe blues just hate bronzes because they won’t shut the fuck up.
Brass dragons usually get the worst of a one-on-one confrontation, mostly because of the longer reach of the blue dragon's breath weapon.
What, something a chromatic does better than a metallic? That’s something, given what we’ll be seeing later.
Because of this, brass dragons usually try to evade blue dragons until they can rally their neighbors for a mass attack.
So a brass’s response to blues being all “Off my lawn, damn noisy kids!” is to lynch them? 2e, what the fuck?
Ecology: Like other dragons, brass dragons can, and will, eat almost anything if the need arises.
Naturally.
In practice, however, they eat very little.
Uhhhh…
They are able to get nourishment from the morning dew, a rare commodity in their habitat, and have been seen carefully lifting it off plants with their long tongues.… So you spent some thousand words describing the myriad ways and means by which these guys are insufferable chatterboxes, then leave their weird hippie elf diet at the very end?
Still, at least morning dew is a sustainable food source, which is more than at least one of these other guys will be able to say.
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