Windows Shareware Disk Showcase: Ultimate House of Games for Windows, Part 2

Here we go again, back with more shareware games to tear into!

Klotz:

Ooh, “Klotz”, huh? Sounds like a puzzle game. I wonder what new and exciting concept this will bring!

It’s another motherfucking Tetris clone.

Windows Shareware Disk Showcase: Ultimate House of Games for Windows, Part 1

It's been a while since my last vidya game post, hasn't it? Well, that's what happens when you write a blog where anything goes. You know, I think I should make that my blog's subtitle: The Blog of Anything Goes.

By now, I’m sure any 21st century Earthlings reading these posts have a few questions. Like, why do I have such a nostalgia for all this crap that became obsolete centuries before I was born? Let me explain.

See, in the aftermath of the Fusion, one of the ways the two worlds started getting to know each other was by trade. The most vital commodity we traded was knowledge.

As we grew to learn each other’s languages and cultures, we taught each other what we knew. It started, of course, with things like what was safe to eat, how to prepare it, and how to make antivenom for that nasty yophakhi sting.

Once we got that part down, we got technological. Earth taught us about things like electronics and rocket science, and we taught them what we know about medicine, biology, and how to use the Art of Change.

One convenient stepping-stone in our wrangling of Earth tech was to buy older, simpler examples of it and the documentation thereof in order to dissect and reconstruct it with our own methods.

Thus, over the next few decades, we began our climb when it came to melding the arts of electronics and transmutation. Our climb was much faster, for we had the shoulders of giants as footholds.

And that’s why my first computer was one of these fucking things.

Even the art of transmutation can’t make this thing less shitty. Photo belongs to one Clicsouris (CC BY-SA 3.0). https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Musee_de_l'Informatique_-_Exposition_25_ans_du_Mac_16.jpg

Back in the days when they were still replacing the old infrastructure for the internet, shareware disks got a new lease on life. Only ones I remember personally having as a ‘net were the eGames Galaxy ones, though.

Thankfully, since Archive.org’s servers weathered those decades like a champ, I can dig around and find some more of that good ol’ late 20th century crustiness. With a VM in tow, let’s take a trip back in time.

You’ve seen the Silver Surfer, now witness the might of the Silicon… uh, Sucker.

The one we’ll be looking at today is called Ultimate House of Games for Windows.

13 Game Print Ads Nobody Else Talks About

So, I read Cassidy’s Top Five Worst Games Print Ads, and my brain said “Paph! You’ve gotta do a post about print ads!"

I told my brain, “But everyone does that! Between bad video game covers and commercials, print ads are the most commonly-mocked target on the internet. If nothing else, I strive not to be redundant. There’s nothing new I could add to the plethora of 'Top Worst' lists out there.”

My brain said “Oh. But, Paph, you’ve gotta write about print ads!”

Well, I couldn’t argue with that logic. So, I started digging to see if there were any interesting ones that nobody’s talked about. Note that these aren’t the “top” of any kind of ads, nor are all of them bad. As long as they’re remarkable in some way, they belong here.

Many of these scans come from VGMuseum (http://www.vgmuseum.com/ads). Special thanks go to Oli, AnakinVdr, gfrankwick, and Mek.

* Cuthbert Enters the Tombs of Doom (Commodore 64)

Ahhhh, C64 video game box art. The fun thing about computer games back then was, anyone could make them; the only barrier to entry was finding a publisher. There was also no barrier of entry when it came to package art.