Let's Dissect the 2e Monster Manual's Dragons - Silver Dragon


I'm certain I've seen this guy on a metal album co- wait, did I already say that? *checks* Not exactly, at least not in THIS series.

Alrighty, Silver Dragon time, here we go!

Silver dragons are kind and helpful. They will cheerfully assist good creatures if their need is genuine. They often take the forms of kindly old men or fair damsels when associating with people.

Silver dragons are known to turn into silver foxes on occasion.


At birth, a silver dragon's scales are blue-gray with silver highlights. As the dragon approaches adulthood, its color slowly lightens to brightly gleaming silver.

So, how hard is it to tell the difference between a blue and silver hatchling? I imagine an adventurer wouldn’t take the time to try and tell the difference.

Dark blue or black plate-like protrusions run down the length of its back, and there are two smaller, more pointed ones on the end of its tail. It can fold back these plates to increase its speed.

Ahhh, yes, folding plates, polishing clothes, the two most ubiquitous chores in any household.

A silver dragon is covered in many scales that protect it from attacks.

As opposed to soft, paper-thin skin that bleeds like a hemophiliac the minute it gets a papercut.

It has large wings that resemble hands.

I mean, don’t all D&D dragon wings resemble hands, when you stop to look at ‘em? They’re really just another set of arms, when you think about it.

… Does that mean they wear twice the deodorant?

The silver dragon leads the legendary birds. When they fight over territory, the silver dragon is the only Pokémon that can quell their ceaseless fighting, as observed in the second Pokémon movie.

So, it’s pretty much the dad shouting “DON’T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND!”

Much like the birds, it possesses the ability to control the weather; most notably, it can calm and give rise to storms.

So, famous person with a Twitter account? Nah, it says it can calm storms, too.

It is said that a light flutter of its wings is capable of causing winds powerful enough to tear down cliffs.

“Butterfly effect, MY ASS! Here’s a motherfucking DRAGON Effect!”

If it were to flap its wings, it could hypothetically spawn storms lasting as long as 40 days.

But it making an off-color joke on the internet can spawn a storm that lasts the rest of its life.

It is highly intelligent, and because of the devastating power it could accidentally inflict, it isolates itself deep underwater and tends to sleep in solitude.

*social distancing joke goes here*

The silver dragon is the only known Pokémon that learns Aeroblast. It is extremely rare and is hardly ever seen.

Well, wasn’t that enlightening.

Tune in next week when—

Okay, fine, I’ll do it for real. Just put your pitchforks down, people.

An adult or older silver dragon has scales so fine that the individual scales are scarcely visible.

So, more or less like a shark or Lugia.

From a distance, these dragons look as if they have been sculpted from pure metal.

I’d make a joke about my hoard, but it’s the wrong metal.

Racial tongues.

Combat: Silver dragons are not violent and avoid combat except when faced with highly evil or aggressive foes.

Knowing what I know, we’ll be coming back to this statement if and when we do a reading of the 2e Draconomicon.

If necessary, they use feather fall to stop any missiles fired at them.

It’d probably be funny if they followed this by catching one in their teeth, and spitting back out at them.

They use wall of fog or control weather to blind or confuse opponents before making melee attacks.

Look, I swear I’ve stopped copying from Bulbapedia at this point. You’ve got to beLIEve me.

If angry, they will use reverse gravity to fling enemies helplessly into the air, where they can be snatched.

Gosh help me, if I see any of you making Undertale jokes, I’m gobbling down your ass like popcorn chicken.

When faced with flying opponents, a silver dragon will hide in clouds (often creating some with control weather on clear days), remain there using cloud walking, then jump to the attack when they have the advantage.

For extra camouflage, they’ll have a gnome down below saying “Tut-tut, it looks like rain.”

Breath Weapon/Special Abilities: A silver dragon has two breath weapons: a cone of cold 80' long, 5' wide at the dragon's mouth, and 30' wide at the end or a cloud of paralyzation gas 50' long, 40' wide, and 20' high.

You know, this reminds me of a Dragonlance short story where some guy went after a White dragon that was just minding its own business, and then learns that he was wrong to do so not because it hadn’t done anything to him, but because it was a silver with a skin condition.

Haha, oops.

At birth, silver dragons are immune to cold and can polymorph self three times a day.

Again, metallics getting all the good shit to be born with. don't you dare

Each change in form lasts until the dragon chooses a different form and reverting to their normal form does not count as a change. They also can cloud walk. This allows the dragon to tread on clouds or fog as though they were solid ground. The ability functions continuously, but can be negated or resumed at will.

In other words, between this and feather fall, these guys are the Mary Poppins of D&D.



We get some stats about abilities gained with age, but we’ve already seen them.

Habitat/Society: Silver dragons prefer aerial lairs on secluded mountain peaks, or amid the clouds themselves.

So, would you say they have their... head in the clouds?

When they lair in clouds there always will be an enchanted area with a sold floor for laying eggs and storing treasure.

They keep their treasure in the sky? So, does that mean they’re the reason every cloud has a silver li- OH SON OF A BITCH.

Silver dragons seem to prefer human form to their own, and often have mortal companions.

So, they’re 100% Terraboos.

Frequently they share deep friendships with mortals. Inevitably, however, the dragon reveals its true form and takes its leave to live a dragon's life for a time.

I have to say, it would probably suck to find out your longtime best friend has been lying to you since the day you two met, then deal with it as they fuck off for who knows how long.

Ecology: Silver dragons prefer human food, and can live on such fare indefinitely.

Weeeeeeeeb.

Because they lair in similar territories, silver dragons come into conflict with red dragons. Duels between the two species are furious and deadly, but silver dragons generally get the upper hand since they are more capable of working together against their foes and often have human allies.

That’s the real super power of teamwork!

(I’m not sorry.)

You thought I’d just throw an April Fools’ joke at you guys and call it a day? Noooooo way, Samuel.

Also, this is the last of the Metallic dragons, even though this one's probably the one most people immediately think of. Funny how that works out. Don't tune out just yet, though!

Next time, we're going with the Brown Dragon, and I absolutely won't copy-paste Bryce's wiki entry as a gag.

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